Life can be difficult.
After 3 months in Africa I developed a kind of vision for myself and my life. After reading a few inspiring missions biographies, I had a picture of myself pouring my life out in kind just like the people I read about. Total sacrifice. Risk and adventure. A life worth writing a book about – something people might read some day and be inspired to do the same. A life of passionate pursuit of a call from God.
Then I came home. Comfortable house, comfortable ministry, comfortable life. Family, cars, dogs, and chickens. Christmas and New Years. I chaffed against these comforts, still challenged by the sense of call albeit non specific. Enjoying the four “F’s” – family, friends, fast internet, and free refills only goes so far.
Then the bottom drops out. Mom has cancer. Where does this fit into my inspired vision of my life? “Blessed is he when he leaves mother and father and children for my sake.” What? Does Jesus really mean that? “Let the dead bury their own dead.” I don’t get it. This is my mom were talking about and she really does have cancer. This isn’t inspired spiritual idealism. This is real – the biopsy says so.
So here I am 42 years old, on the fringe of an empty nest, and ready to launch myself into this exciting journey. Got my bags packed, and checking my email from God waiting on Him to put a destination on a ticket.
As you are reading this you may be thinking I am frustrated that the realities of life are delaying my plans for me. Not true. I am determined to be the kind of son my mom deserves. I know it pleases the Lord when he sees me honor my parents – after all it is one of the ten commandments.
I am still perplexed at some of the things Jesus said and deep in my spirit and late in the night I wrestle with these issues.
During the rest of the night when I am awake and during the day when I am mostly awake, I pray for my mom and deal with more temporal realities.
So, I go back to my original statement. Life is difficult. A famous author says so. On the other hand, I’ve been told that’s what makes life great. The struggles give opportunity to trust the Lord. The journey gives opportunity to build faith and maturity.
The times give a son the chance to treat his mom like he would want to be treated by his own kids.
