Rejoicing and Silence

It’s been a while since I’ve written in my blog. Honestly since Christmas it’s been hard to
know what to say. Lately I’ve been
following the stories being written by some of our teams in Swaziland about a
baby named Moses. You can read more
about the sad story here and here.

One of the great things happening in our family is that
Josiah is getting married to Meredith the end of May. Also, Sam and Jill as well as Anna and Elliot
are giving us grand children numbers 1 (due in July) and 2 (due in September).

It’s hard to describe the feeling I had when Sam called me
to tell me their baby is a boy. A sense
of completion came over me. Like some
kind of release from all the striving to make a difference in the world. The knowledge that in some way a part of me
will continue on when I am gone is somehow giving me a sense of resolution in my life.

This week Anna came up for a few days of her spring
break. Seeing her in our house, with a
baby inside her, with all her baby clothes Marcia had saved is another one of
those feelings of life’s great moments.
The passing of time resulting in beautiful repetitions of life.

Honestly it’s hard to reconcile the dissonance of the tragic
life of baby Moses in Swaziland with the blessed life I am experiencing with my
family. Moses never got much of a chance
to survive. His own mother will probably
be dead soon too. Recent census results
reveal that in the last 10 years or so Swaziland has lost population. If normal population growth had happened (if
there was no HIV/AIDS) there would be 300,000 more people in Swaziland today.

So you can see the stories of Moses and his mother are but
two of many many tragic stories. When I
try to go deep inside myself and process all this I encounter a profound
silence. I don’t know what to say or even what to pray.

I am rejoicing in the blessings of the Lord on my
family. I am silenced by the tragedy in
the life of Moses.