scottborg - We're Home

We're home. Stayed up all day after the flight and then were able to sleep all night. Had fun watching grandson Michael today. Got a start on mowing the jungle outside. There is milk and bread in the fridge.

I've been reflecting on our month in Swaziland. So many stories - so much happening there. This month was characterized by stark reminders of why Africa is called the Dark Continent. I can't explain how frustrating some of our experiences were.

Our last day at a care point it was raining and I took this picture below. For me it symbolizes much if not most of our month. The little girl who these feet belong to walked from who knows where to get some food. She was about the age of my two grandchildren - less than 2 years old.

I can say my heart is broken (again). This thing has gotten personal in ways I am not ready to talk about. I found myself having the following conversation with myself, "Scott you better be careful or you will get your heart broken." "Yeah, but Jesus wasn't careful." "But it hurts." "The world is a broken place full of broken people - it's messy and full of pain and Jesus is the only answer we have." "I would rather there was no mud."

So we all have a choice - be careful and safe, or be reckless in love and get hurt. There is life in that mud somehow. It is dirty and sticky and very inconvenient, but somehow I know even in my broken heart that this is the only life I know worth living.

I have to be honest. Part of me never wants to go back to Swaziland. And another part of me was thinking about the next trip while I was mowing the yard.

Is there something wrong with me?