We’re home. Stayed up all day after the flight and then were able to sleep all night. Had fun watching grandson Michael today. Got a start on mowing the jungle outside. There is milk and bread in the fridge.
I’ve been reflecting on our month in Swaziland. So many stories – so much happening there. This month was characterized by stark reminders of why Africa is called the Dark Continent. I can’t explain how frustrating some of our experiences were.
Our last day at a care point it was raining and I took this picture below. For me it symbolizes much if not most of our month. The little girl who these feet belong to walked from who knows where to get some food. She was about the age of my two grandchildren – less than 2 years old.
I can say my heart is broken (again). This thing has gotten personal in ways I am not ready to talk about. I found myself having the following conversation with myself, “Scott you better be careful or you will get your heart broken.” “Yeah, but Jesus wasn’t careful.” “But it hurts.” “The world is a broken place full of broken people – it’s messy and full of pain and Jesus is the only answer we have.” “I would rather there was no mud.”
So we all have a choice – be careful and safe, or be reckless in love and get hurt. There is life in that mud somehow. It is dirty and sticky and very inconvenient, but somehow I know even in my broken heart that this is the only life I know worth living.
I have to be honest. Part of me never wants to go back to Swaziland. And another part of me was thinking about the next trip while I was mowing the yard.
Is there something wrong with me?
Glad you guys are home safe. I’m sure the work is overwhelming. Keep it up. You guys are making a difference! One person at a time!
Welcome home! (at least the part of you that came back) There is nothing wrong with you man, well… not in regard to this at least. If you had no conflict or emotion after seeing what you have seen this last month i would be worried. Looking forward to seeing you.
Glad you’re back, but also know the Lord used you guys while you were there…..Funny how mowing one’s yard gives one great time to think about things! 😀
Much love to you, Marcia, your family…..and pets! 😀 Miss you guys!
Scott, you and Marsha have been in my thoughts and prayers quite a bit since I was with you in Swazi, especially knowing that you were back for this past month. Your blog postings, especially today’s, have stirred up so much in me. I continue to wrestle with what to do. I especially appreciate your honesty in today’s post. Thanks for all you and Marsha have done and will do in Swazi.
Hey, Scott!
Glad to hear that you all are back in the states. Your words are my thoughts exactly in so many situations in my life right now. Thank you so much for posting them. Blessings to you and the wifey. Love you guys!
We were instantly missing you guys after we dropped you off. Great pic and thoughts here. God was glorified in all you did this month!
So glad you’re both home safe. And I’m so glad that we worship together the Healer of broken hearts. May He draw you and Marcia closer to Himself in this time, and give you the privilege of knowing His own heart for the nations.
Hey Scott – you’ve written so many wonderful things about your time in Swaziland but I have to say that this is my favorite. You’ve described love so well. Truly loving others involves so much risk and, if we’re honest, it’s easier to turn away and not let the Lord’s love fill us. But this love, the reckless kind that invites pain, is worth it because of the hope of abundant life. Even as I read, I wanted to see a little bit of green sprout through that mud. That is what we hope for and that is what joining Christ as He redeems the hearts and lives of His people is all about.
Scott,
My heart is grieved that you didn’t get to leave hope with your little girl, yet. You and Marcia are a wonderful tangible expression of God’s heart. Keep pressing in. We understand your frustration and hurt that you experienced and are experiencing. Believe it is not without purpose. WE are very proud of you guys.
Rick
Love the blog Bro.
The only thing wrong with you is that you have a HUGE heart. Miss ya.